Saturday, October 30, 2010

THE MAMA DOLL FOREMAN'S GRANDSON






THE MAMA DOLL FOREMAN'S
GRANDSON






I would like to tell you, faithful blog followers, that Santa's Elves live by a higher standard than their human counter parts, but I can't. They are susceptible to many of the same temptations and failings as humans. They also indulge in family rivalries, creating hurt feelings, secretly finding satisfaction in some others misfortunes and the like.
You all know the Mama Doll's Foreman's "phasing out" of the active toy production scene and he has carried some resentment that has rubbed off on his grandson. This has led to the episode I am going to relate concerning the Mama Doll Foreman's grandson.
As you remember, the Computer Geek Elf introduced a computer program that attempted to fundamentally transform the way that Santa produced his toys. There were other parts to the program that were hidden and were not apparent until the program was fully engaged. The Computer Geek Elf thought that little girls needed more options to operate their "Baby Spit-up Dolls" so he installed four settings on the dolls to make the spit up mechanism operational.
The settings were . . .
#1 - Spit Up.
#2 - A Stronger Spit Up
#3 - More Intense Spit Up, Vomit
And, the most intense setting . . . .
#4 - Projectile Vomit

This carving of the Mama Doll Foreman's Grandson is of him taking special pleasure in viewing the Baby Spit-Up Foreman taking a full load of setting #4 in the kisser.
No fingers are being pointed, but the kid seems awfully pleased at the exhibition and seems to be saying . . . .
"Hey Gramps, that was for YOU!"













Sunday, October 24, 2010

BACCHIE, THE KEEPER OF THE WINE CELLAR

This elf was inspired by a friend
(Renaissance Cellars Winery, Timothy E. Akers)
because of his invitation to the
Renaissance Cellars Grand Opening
Oct. 29 & Oct. 30 - 2010
518 W Bertrand - Saint Marys, KS


K
E
••E
•••P
••••E
•••••R

Of The

Wine

C
E
••L
•••L
••••A
•••••R





This elf and Santa have known the secret since the early 1800's when the settlers discovered that wine made from grapes grown on the sunny plains of Kansas is some of the best in the world. To guard their secret, they started the myth that California was the best place to produce wine and they also promoted the truth that Kansas was the wheat capital of the nation.

All this was done so that when Santa delivered presents to Kansas, he could secretly pick up a year's supply of wine that was made from the grapes grown there.

This elf, who's name is Bacchie, is in charge of Santa's wine cellar and he is also trusted to keep the secret that Kansas is the best place to produce wine.




Tuesday, October 19, 2010

SANTA'S TRAIN SET TRACKMAN ELF


Train Set Trackman Elf
The Trackman Elf believes a train set is only as good as the track that it runs on. He has pride in his work and wears a piece of train track proudly on his hat.








Friday, October 15, 2010

ELF NURSE

Santa's Elf Nurse

Santa, always being concerned for his elves welfare, has acquired an elf nurse to attend to the elves health case.

The elves think that she is just bee-yoo-tee-ful and visits to the North Pole Infirmary have almost doubled since she came.
Ditsy's headaches and Tubby's tummy aches have particularly came more frequent since her arrival.




••

Sunday, October 10, 2010

THE REINDEER HERDER ELF

The Reindeer Herder Elf





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Santa trusts the feeding and care of his reindeer only to an authentic Lapland Reindeer Herder Elf and his family.

In Santa's mind, only a Laplander is qualified to take care of reindeer . . . it is in their genes.

Briefly in early 1950's, Santa had a Hollywood Cowboy Elf caring for his reindeer. But that did not work out so well and the Laplanders have been in charge ever since.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

THE MAGIC ELF


The Magic Elf




















Santa only trusts a true magician to compile his magic sets the boys and girls ask for. The Magic Elf is just such a magical magician and he makes sure that the "magic" is put in each and every one of the magic sets by saying special magic elfen words before each one is loaded into Santa's Sleigh.








Sunday, October 3, 2010

SPANKY, THE GOFER ELF

Spanky, the Gofer Elf
Because Spanky is smaller than the other elves, they tend to think they can order him around. "Spanky, it's time for the Mama Doll Foreman's tea. Would you gofer that?" or "Spanky, the Nice List Recorder needs her itch medicine. Would you gofer that?" Spanky gofer this, Spanky gofer that. Oh, how Spanky wishes he was 2 ft. tall.

















Wednesday, September 29, 2010

THE COMPUTER GEEK ELF




The
Computer
Geek
Elf


This elf showed up at the North Pole seemingly out of no where.
Although he is not much for looks, he was a smooth talker. Santa was going through a bit of a down turn in the toy and other gift production and the Computer Geek Elf told him (Santa) that he needed some hope and some change. Santa asked him what kind of change and the elf said the he needed to fundamentally change the way he did things around there.
Well, Santa was caught at a weak moment and he agreed to change everything over to a nifty computer program . . . his naughty and nice lists, his toy inventory, reindeer health concerns, sleigh maintenance and everything.
It wasn't long before Santa realized things were getting worse as the elf continued to replace and change much of the ways Santa had done things for many years.
Then just under two months before Christmas one year, Santa decided to put a stop to the elf's radical changes. He succeeded in stopping the elf in his tracks, but the Computer Greek Elf had made just enough changes that in order for Santa to get anything ready for Christmas at all, he would have to keep the elf and some of his changes around for many years.
The Computer Geek Elf was not very popular with the other elves and some even tried to circulate the story that he wasn't really even an elf. But with those big ears, few ever took that story very seriously.















Sunday, September 26, 2010

THE BUTTERNUT PRESERVATION ELF


The Butternut Preservation Elf

The Butternut Preservation Elf works in very close association with the Naughty and Nice list Administrator and the Nice List Recorder to ensure that only the nicest of the nice
woodcarvers and woodworkers get gifts of butternut this year.
This is due to the impending shortage of this wood due to the butternut canker disease that has ravaged trees through out the country.

Notice that this elf has such large elf ears that he had to cut slits in his hat to wear it comfortably. This he did in resignation after trying to cover them up with hair.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

THE IRISH HERITAGE GIFT CONSULTANT ELF

The Irish Heritage Gift consultant Elf







The background of this elf is accurately summed up in this
traditional Irish poem.











The Orange and The Green


Oh, it is the biggest mix up that you have ever seen.
My father, he was Orange and me mother, she was green.

My father was an Ulster man, proud Protestant was he.
My Mother was a Catholic girl, from county Cork was she.
They were married in two churches, lived happily enough,
Until the day that I was born and things got rather tough.

Baptized by Father Riley, I was rushed away by car,
To be made a little Orangeman, my father's shining star.
I was christened "David Anthony," but still, inspite of that,
To me father, I was William, while my mother called me Pat.

With Mother every Sunday, to Mass I'd proudly stroll.
Then after that, the Orange lodge would try to save my soul.
For both sides tried to claim me, but I was smart because
I'd play the flute or play the harp, depending where I was.

Now when I'd sing those rebel songs, much to me mother's joy
Me father would jump up and say, "Look here would you me boy.
That's quite enough of that lot". he'd then toss me a coin

And he'd have me sing the Orange Flute or the Heros of the Boyne.

One day me Ma's relations came round to visit me.
Just as my father's kinfolk were all sitting down to tea.
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight.
And me, being strictly neutral. I bashed everyone in sight.

My parents never could agree about my type of school.
My learning was all done at home, that's why I'm such a fool.
They've both passed on, God rest 'em, but left me caught between
That awful color problem of the Orange and the Green.


After the big fight, the Irish Gift Elf left home and ultimately showed up on Santa's door step at the North Pole. While on the long walk to the North Pole his ears became severely frost bitten. When they were healed, they took on a pointed appearance and he was magically transformed into an elf.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

TUBBY, THE CANDY TASTING ELF


Tubby, the Candy Tasting Elf
Tubby's job is to taste candy so that nothing comes out of the North Pole short of delicious.
When he applied for a job at Santa's Workshop Santa knew immediately, from his appearance, that he was the elf for his job.






Friday, September 3, 2010

CAKEMAN, SANTA'S HEAD BAKER ELF



























Cakeman, Santa's Head Baker Elf




























Here we have Cakeman as he watches all of his cakes fall after Tubby, the official candy tasting elf, trips and falls on the shaky wooden floor of his kitchen.
Is that heart broken horror you see on his face, or does his expression just show concern for poor Tubby?
What do you think?

Fellow Woodcarvers Challenge
Here is a challenge for all of my fellow woodcarving friends.
I'm not proud, I confess that I made a mistake typical of most beginners, as I planned the carving of this head.
Drastic measures had to be taken to fix the mistake mid-carving.
In viewing the end result, can any of you see what the mistake was and spot how the mistake was attempted to be corrected?
I want to admit right here and now that the fix did not turn out to be too subtle!
Most of you will probably spot it right away.
After I get a few opinions, I will reveal what I did in a few days.

Thanks,, diy for your guess.  No, I did intend for the head gear to look like it does to convey that the character was a baker or cook.  The mistake that I made was trying too many times to create the facial expression of the Baker.  I would try one thing and decide that that wasn't what I wanted, then try again and so on.  Finally I had carved so deeply into the head that I had carved facial details where the ears should have gone and precious little wood left to shape the back of the head.
You can see just infront of the ears I have had to inset extra wood for ears.  Not too subtle but I got the job done! (grin)
Millard

Monday, August 23, 2010

THE LEGO FOREMAN ELF




























↑ The Lego Foreman Elf ↑




























Most elves would be upset if they lost their hat, but not so for the Lego Foreman. He just made another one out of extra Lego parts and he seems to be pleased with it.
The Lego Foreman is responsible for having all the Lego sets ready to go on Christmas morning for Santa to deliver.


Saturday, August 14, 2010

DITSY, SANTA'S PROTECTIVE HEAD GEAR TESTER ELF







This is Ditsy,
Santa's Protective Head Gear Tester Elf

Ditsy personally tests all protective head gear to see that it functions properly.
He has just found a defective bicycle helmet.















Saturday, August 7, 2010

NICE LIST RECORDER ELF




The Nice List Recorder Elf

Unlike the Naughty List Recorder that only sees naughtiness all around him, the Nice List Recorder only sees niceness.

She can not bear to have anyone taken from her list and moved to the naughty list.







When she is exposed to naughtiness personified, such as being in the same room as the Naughty List Recorder, she breaks out in hives!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

NAUGHTY LIST RECORDER ELF


The Naughty List Recorder Elf
The Naughty List Recorder Elf is perfectly suited for his job. Unlike the Naughty and Nice List Administrator, who is perfectly honest and practices justice and fairness, the Naughty List Recorder sees naughtiness all around . . . all of the time.
If he had his way, everyone would be on the naughty list.
He puts people on the naughty list on the instructions of the list administrator, never feeling bad, but relishes the opportunity to add to his list.