Saturday, October 30, 2010
THE MAMA DOLL FOREMAN'S
I would like to tell you, faithful blog followers, that Santa's Elves live by a higher standard than their human counter parts, but I can't. They are susceptible to many of the same temptations and failings as humans. They also indulge in family rivalries, creating hurt feelings, secretly finding satisfaction in some others misfortunes and the like.
You all know the Mama Doll's Foreman's "phasing out" of the active toy production scene and he has carried some resentment that has rubbed off on his grandson. This has led to the episode I am going to relate concerning the Mama Doll Foreman's grandson.
As you remember, the Computer Geek Elf introduced a computer program that attempted to fundamentally transform the way that Santa produced his toys. There were other parts to the program that were hidden and were not apparent until the program was fully engaged. The Computer Geek Elf thought that little girls needed more options to operate their "Baby Spit-up Dolls" so he installed four settings on the dolls to make the spit up mechanism operational.
The settings were . . .
#1 - Spit Up.
#2 - A Stronger Spit Up
#3 - More Intense Spit Up, Vomit
And, the most intense setting . . . .
#4 - Projectile Vomit
This carving of the Mama Doll Foreman's Grandson is of him taking special pleasure in viewing the Baby Spit-Up Foreman taking a full load of setting #4 in the kisser.
No fingers are being pointed, but the kid seems awfully pleased at the exhibition and seems to be saying . . . .
"Hey Gramps, that was for YOU!"
Sunday, October 24, 2010
(Renaissance Cellars Winery, Timothy E. Akers)
• •Of • The
This elf and Santa have known the secret since the early 1800's when the settlers discovered that wine made from grapes grown on the sunny plains of Kansas is some of the best in the world. To guard their secret, they started the myth that California was the best place to produce wine and they also promoted the truth that Kansas was the wheat capital of the nation.
All this was done so that when Santa delivered presents to Kansas, he could secretly pick up a year's supply of wine that was made from the grapes grown there.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Santa, always being concerned for his elves welfare, has acquired an elf nurse to attend to the elves health case.
The elves think that she is just bee-yoo-tee-ful and visits to the North Pole Infirmary have almost doubled since she came.
Ditsy's headaches and Tubby's tummy aches have particularly came more frequent since her arrival.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Santa trusts the feeding and care of his reindeer only to an authentic Lapland Reindeer Herder Elf and his family.
In Santa's mind, only a Laplander is qualified to take care of reindeer . . . it is in their genes.
Briefly in early 1950's, Santa had a Hollywood Cowboy Elf caring for his reindeer. But that did not work out so well and the Laplanders have been in charge ever since.