SPANKY, THE GOFER ELF

Spanky, the Gofer Elf

Because Spanky is smaller than the other elves, they tend to think they can order him around. "Spanky, it's time for the Mama Doll Foreman's tea. Would you gofer that?" or "Spanky, the Nice List Recorder needs her itch medicine. Would you gofer that?" Spanky gofer this, Spanky gofer that. Oh, how Spanky wishes he was 2 ft. tall.

THE COMPUTER GEEK ELF

The

Computer

Geek

Elf


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This elf showed up at the North Pole seemingly out of no where.

Although he is not much for looks, he was a smooth talker. Santa was going through a bit of a down turn in the toy and other gift production and the Computer Geek Elf told him (Santa) that he needed some hope and some change. Santa asked him what kind of change and the elf said the he needed to fundamentally change the way he did things around there.

Well, Santa was caught at a weak moment and he agreed to change everything over to a nifty computer program . . . his naughty and nice lists, his toy inventory, reindeer health concerns, sleigh maintenance and everything.

It wasn't long before Santa realized things were getting worse as the elf continued to replace and change much of the ways Santa had done things for many years.

Then just under two months before Christmas one year, Santa decided to put a stop to the elf's radical changes. He succeeded in stopping the elf in his tracks, but the Computer Greek Elf had made just enough changes that in order for Santa to get anything ready for Christmas at all, he would have to keep the elf and some of his changes around for many years.

The Computer Geek Elf was not very popular with the other elves and some even tried to circulate the story that he wasn't really even an elf. But with those big ears, few ever took that story very seriously.

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THE BUTTERNUT PRESERVATION ELF

The Butternut Preservation Elf

The Butternut Preservation Elf works in very close association with the Naughty and Nice list Administrator and the Nice List Recorder to ensure that only the nicest of the nice

woodcarvers and woodworkers get gifts of butternut this year.
This is due to the impending shortage of this wood due to the butternut canker disease that has ravaged trees through out the country.
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Notice that this elf has such large elf ears that he had to cut slits in his hat to wear it comfortably. This he did in resignation after trying to cover them up with hair.

THE IRISH HERITAGE GIFT CONSULTANT ELF

The Irish Heritage Gift consultant Elf







The background of this elf is accurately summed up in this

traditional Irish poem.

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The Orange and The Green


Oh, it is the biggest mix up that you have ever seen.
My father, he was Orange and me mother, she was green.

My father was an Ulster man, proud Protestant was he.
My Mother was a Catholic girl, from county Cork was she.
They were married in two churches, lived happily enough,
Until the day that I was born and things got rather tough.

Baptized by Father Riley, I was rushed away by car,
To be made a little Orangeman, my father's shining star.
I was christened "David Anthony," but still, inspite of that,
To me father, I was William, while my mother called me Pat.

With Mother every Sunday, to Mass I'd proudly stroll.
Then after that, the Orange lodge would try to save my soul.
For both sides tried to claim me, but I was smart because
I'd play the flute or play the harp, depending where I was.

Now when I'd sing those rebel songs, much to me mother's joy
Me father would jump up and say, "Look here would you me boy.
That's quite enough of that lot". he'd then toss me a coin
And he'd have me sing the Orange Flute or the Heros of the Boyne.

One day me Ma's relations came round to visit me.
Just as my father's kinfolk were all sitting down to tea.
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight.
And me, being strictly neutral. I bashed everyone in sight.

My parents never could agree about my type of school.
My learning was all done at home, that's why I'm such a fool.
They've both passed on, God rest 'em, but left me caught between
That awful color problem of the Orange and the Green.

After the big fight, the Irish Gift Elf left home and ultimately showed up on Santa's door step at the North Pole. While on the long walk to the North Pole his ears became severely frost bitten. When they were healed, they took on a pointed appearance and he was magically transformed into an elf.

TUBBY, THE CANDY TASTING ELF

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Tubby, the Candy Tasting Elf
Tubby's job is to taste candy so that nothing comes out of the North Pole short of delicious.
When he applied for a job at Santa's Workshop Santa knew immediately, from his appearance, that he was the elf for his job.

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CAKEMAN, SANTA'S HEAD BAKER ELF

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Cakeman, Santa's Head Baker Elf

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Here we have Cakeman as he watches all of his cakes fall after Tubby, the official candy tasting elf, trips and falls on the shaky wooden floor of his kitchen.
Is that heart broken horror you see on his face, or does his expression just show concern for poor Tubby?
What do you think?

Fellow Woodcarvers Challenge

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Here is a challenge for all of my fellow woodcarving friends.

I'm not proud, I confess that I made a mistake typical of most beginners, as I planned the carving of this head.

Drastic measures had to be taken to fix the mistake mid-carving.

In viewing the end result, can any of you see what the mistake was and spot how the mistake was attempted to be corrected?

I want to admit right here and now that the fix did not turn out to be too subtle!

Most of you will probably spot it right away.

After I get a few opinions, I will reveal what I did in a few days.

Thanks,, diy for your guess.  No, I did intend for the head gear to look like it does to convey that the character was a baker or cook.  The mistake that I made was trying too many times to create the facial expression of the Baker.  I would try one thing and decide that that wasn't what I wanted, then try again and so on.  Finally I had carved so deeply into the head that I had carved facial details where the ears should have gone and precious little wood left to shape the back of the head.
You can see just infront of the ears I have had to inset extra wood for ears.  Not too subtle but I got the job done! (grin)
Millard

THE LEGO FOREMAN ELF

↑ The Lego Foreman Elf ↑

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Most elves would be upset if they lost their hat, but not so for the Lego Foreman. He just made another one out of extra Lego parts and he seems to be pleased with it.
The Lego Foreman is responsible for having all the Lego sets ready to go on Christmas morning for Santa to deliver.

DITSY, SANTA'S PROTECTIVE HEAD GEAR TESTER ELF

This is Ditsy,
Santa's Protective Head Gear Tester Elf →

Ditsy personally tests all protective head gear to see that it functions properly.
He has just found a defective bicycle helmet.

NICE LIST RECORDER ELF

← The Nice List Recorder Elf

Unlike the Naughty List Recorder that only sees naughtiness all around him, the Nice List Recorder only sees niceness.

She can not bear to have anyone taken from her list and moved to the naughty list.

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When she is exposed to naughtiness personified, such as being in the same room as the Naughty List Recorder, she breaks out in hives!

NAUGHTY LIST RECORDER ELF

The Naughty List Recorder Elf →

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The Naughty List Recorder Elf is perfectly suited for his job. Unlike the Naughty and Nice List Administrator, who is perfectly honest and practices justice and fairness, the Naughty List Recorder sees naughtiness all around . . . all of the time.

If he had his way, everyone would be on the naughty list.

He puts people on the naughty list on the instructions of the list administrator, never feeling bad, but relishes the opportunity to add to his list.

NAUGHTY & NICE LIST ADMINISTRATOR ELF

← The Naughty & Nice List Administrator Elf


This is one of Santa's most important and powerful elves. You don't want to get on his bad side. He controls who is placed on the naughty or nice list and decides if anyone is moved from one list to the other.
If there is any elf you need to impress with your goodness, it is this one!

GREENHOUSE GAS ELF

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The Greenhouse Gas Elf →
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This elf is in charge of checking
reindeer emissions and adjusting
their diet so that they do not leave
an unfavorable effect on "global
warming."
Does this elf enjoy his job?
His expression tells it all.

"MA-MA" DOLL FOREMAN ELF

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←The "Ma-Ma" Doll Foreman Elf

You can tell that this tronie is the "Ma-Ma" Doll Foreman. His face shows that things have not gone well for him for the past several decades.
Things really started to turn sour for the this elf last year when the Baby Spit-up Doll Foreman was given his work space in the main work shop building.
Now, this year Santa informed him that the hot shot kid that is the iPhone Foreman will be taking over his most recent work space in the main building and the "Ma-Ma" Doll Foreman has been assigned a temporary work space in the old reindeer barn where most of the out of date toys are now produced on a limited production schedule.

The "Ma-Ma" Doll Foreman complained to Santa and Santa suggested that he consider being re-trained to fill a position that needed to be filled in the Baby Spit-up section, testing the spit up mechanisms for each doll.
Ah, such is progress. Out with the old, in with the new.

i-PHONE FORMAN ELF

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The Hot Shot kid iPhone Foreman →

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This is a new position created this year when Santa learned that Rush Limbaugh had an iPhone before the release date. Santa is expecting a flood of iPhone requests from Republican states.

CLERGY GIFT REGULATOR ELF

← The Clergy Gift Regulator Elf

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This too is a new position created this year. The Clergy Gift Regulator insures that all clergy gifts are appropriate and are in good taste.

This elf's job was created after someone maliciously arranged for Santa to put a Whoopee Cushion under the tree of the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church.

2010 CARVED ELF TRONIES

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This year my work shop will have lots of elves in it to keep me company. My 2010 Christmas carvings will feature carved elf tronies that will represent the various elves in charge of Santa's toy and gift production complex.

Here are three of the first tronies that have been carved.

SHELF ELVES

Shelf Eves are fun to carve.

They are simple
and have a lot of personality.

WOOD FROM ALASKA - AN ARCTIC TREASURE!

Our son-in-law went to Alaska
on a business trip a few weeks ago.

He was visiting with one of the guy's

that he was doing business with and he saw some wood

and a walking cane that the business man had carved

and had in his office.

They discussed this neat wood - as there are not

any trees in the area in which they were, at that time.

Our son-in-law told the business man

about his father-in-law being a woodcarver,

so the business man asked our son-in-law

if he would like to take the wood to his father-in-law.

Our son-in-law couldn't take it on the plane,

so his friend, the business man, sent the wood to him.

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How breath taking!

To receive wood like this is unbelieveable

and I feel so honored.

The friend from Alaska had sent a paper about the wood.

It is such interesting wood and I am looking forward to carving it.

Thank You again, for the Arctic Treasure!

A PIRATE SHIP FOR MY GRANDSON'S 8th BIRTHDAY

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Our second grandson had his 8th birthday last week.
He chose a pirate theme for his birthday party.
He wanted a pirate ship on his birthday cake - which his Mom would make for him.
Our daughter asked me to carve a small pirate ship for the cake and she would make everything else edible.
I was most happy to carve this for her and for my grandson.

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This was truly a thrill to carve this "Pirate Ship" for my grandson.

However, I guess I got somewhat carried away. This was much too large and too heavy to put on a cake. However, I proudly gave this to Jacob for his 8th birthday.

Awe! Jacob liked it. He was as thrilled as I was hopefully expecting him to be. He noticed every detail in the carving and showed much pride.

About the cake . . . .
Our daughter makes all of her children's birthday cakes.

She had to make her own pirate ship.

What a neat Pirate Birthday Cake!

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Everything on the cake was edible, except for the trees, the coins around the cake and the sails on the pirate ship.

The pirate ship and the treasure chest were made out of chocolate cake while the birthday cake was Confetti white.

The sand was ground graham cracker crumbs. A nice taste on a cake.

Jacob huffed and he puffed and
blew as hard as he could.

It is quite a challenge to blow out 8 candles.
His puffed cheeks and clinched fists tell it all.

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Jacob was very proud of his Pirate Cake too!

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