ELF BOY

ELF BOY

This happy pre-pubescent Elf Boy has just celebrated his thirty-fourth birthday. A friend of the Mama Doll Foreman, this Elf Boy and his friend roams the elf colony at the North Pole in the tradition of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

Since the normal life span of an elf is near 250 years, the Elf Boy's boyhood lasts until they are about 40 years old.

Most elves marry at about 60 years of age.

CONSTABLE ELF

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CONSTABLE ELF

There is only one Constable Elf among the population of elves. He is trained directly by the Elf King himself.
Seldom does any disagreement or conflict arise among the elves, so there is only need for one Constable Elf. He travels throughout the world mediating any situations calling for his help.
He stops by the North Pole several times each century.

BOLLACKER - THE CHRISTMAS TREE PRUNER

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BOLLACKER

THE CHRISTMAS TREE PRUNER

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This elf prunes and cares for all Christmas trees.
The Christmas Tree Pruner and his work force have been sighted by Christmas Tree Farmers many times. Just ask them.

ELF KING

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ELF KING

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In an agreement with the Elf King, the elves have been "allowed" to work in Santa's Workshop. When it comes to anything that is connected with producing toys, Santa is boss. However, all other questions about how the elves live and deal with one another are handled by the Elf King.
All the elves throughout the world answer to him . . . even the prairie elves that inhabit the remaining tracts of Tall Grass Prairie, answer to the Elf King.

REDFORD

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A SPECIAL THANK YOUto

CINDY (JAMES) REIHER

Cindy named this elf for us and penned the story. She is formerly from Elkhart, KS (Yarbrough area)

"Redford is a mischievous but kind elf. He finds enjoyment in completing random acts of kindness and usually he is able to do his work anonymously. Redford has been caught in the act of kindness and his face reflects the fact that he is surprised that he has been discovered, yet pleased that his work has been noticed and appreciated."
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Thank You Cindy. This is so fitting for this elf.

THE CANDY CANE BENDER

THE CANDY CANE BENDER

The Candy Cane Bender was an elf that just didn't fit in anywhere. He seemed to be unable to do anything right . . . . until one day a frustrated fellow worker said, "Use your head!" He did and the Candy Cane Bender found his niche.

He has been busy ever since . . . . "Using His Head!"

THE BABY SPIT-UP FOREMAN

THE BABY SPIT-UP FOREMAN

One almost has to feel sorry for the Baby Spit-Up Foreman. He had envisioned producing a baby doll that little girls could daintily dab at the sweet dollies mouth, practicing for the day they would tenderly wipe a real baby's mouth as it's little gastric digestive system developed.

It is a crying shame that a grown elf man is reduced to cowering and being completely intimidated by something of his own creation!

The Computer Geek had rigged the dolls to emit a torrent of foul smelling substance at irregular and unexpected times causing all the elves to approach them as one would a bomb that may go off at any second.

Here we have the Baby Spit-Up Foreman approaching a doll in an effort to defuse it before it expels its load of who-knows-what. You can see the tenseness in his face.

THE MAMA DOLL FOREMAN'S GRANDSON

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THE MAMA DOLL FOREMAN'S
GRANDSON






I would like to tell you, faithful blog followers, that Santa's Elves live by a higher standard than their human counter parts, but I can't. They are susceptible to many of the same temptations and failings as humans. They also indulge in family rivalries, creating hurt feelings, secretly finding satisfaction in some others misfortunes and the like.
You all know the Mama Doll's Foreman's "phasing out" of the active toy production scene and he has carried some resentment that has rubbed off on his grandson. This has led to the episode I am going to relate concerning the Mama Doll Foreman's grandson.
As you remember, the Computer Geek Elf introduced a computer program that attempted to fundamentally transform the way that Santa produced his toys. There were other parts to the program that were hidden and were not apparent until the program was fully engaged. The Computer Geek Elf thought that little girls needed more options to operate their "Baby Spit-up Dolls" so he installed four settings on the dolls to make the spit up mechanism operational.
The settings were . . .
#1 - Spit Up.
#2 - A Stronger Spit Up
#3 - More Intense Spit Up, Vomit
And, the most intense setting . . . .
#4 - Projectile Vomit
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This carving of the Mama Doll Foreman's Grandson is of him taking special pleasure in viewing the Baby Spit-Up Foreman taking a full load of setting #4 in the kisser.
No fingers are being pointed, but the kid seems awfully pleased at the exhibition and seems to be saying . . . .
"Hey Gramps, that was for YOU!"

BACCHIE, THE KEEPER OF THE WINE CELLAR

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This elf was inspired by a friend
(Renaissance Cellars Winery, Timothy E. Akers)

because of his invitation to the

Renaissance Cellars Grand Opening

Oct. 29 & Oct. 30 - 2010

518 W Bertrand - Saint Marys, KS

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This elf and Santa have known the secret since the early 1800's when the settlers discovered that wine made from grapes grown on the sunny plains of Kansas is some of the best in the world. To guard their secret, they started the myth that California was the best place to produce wine and they also promoted the truth that Kansas was the wheat capital of the nation.

All this was done so that when Santa delivered presents to Kansas, he could secretly pick up a year's supply of wine that was made from the grapes grown there.

This elf, who's name is Bacchie, is in charge of Santa's wine cellar and he is also trusted to keep the secret that Kansas is the best place to produce wine.

SANTA'S TRAIN SET TRACKMAN ELF

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Train Set Trackman Elf

The Trackman Elf believes a train set is only as good as the track that it runs on. He has pride in his work and wears a piece of train track proudly on his hat.

ELF NURSE

Santa's Elf Nurse

Santa, always being concerned for his elves welfare, has acquired an elf nurse to attend to the elves health case.
The elves think that she is just bee-yoo-tee-ful and visits to the North Pole Infirmary have almost doubled since she came.
Ditsy's headaches and Tubby's tummy aches have particularly came more frequent since her arrival.

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THE REINDEER HERDER ELF

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The Reindeer Herder Elf

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Santa trusts the feeding and care of his reindeer only to an authentic Lapland Reindeer Herder Elf and his family.
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In Santa's mind, only a Laplander is qualified to take care of reindeer . . . it is in their genes.

Briefly in early 1950's, Santa had a Hollywood Cowboy Elf caring for his reindeer. But that did not work out so well and the Laplanders have been in charge ever since.

THE MAGIC ELF

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The Magic Elf

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Santa only trusts a true magician to compile his magic sets the boys and girls ask for. The Magic Elf is just such a magical magician and he makes sure that the "magic" is put in each and every one of the magic sets by saying special magic elfen words before each one is loaded into Santa's Sleigh.

SPANKY, THE GOFER ELF

Spanky, the Gofer Elf

Because Spanky is smaller than the other elves, they tend to think they can order him around. "Spanky, it's time for the Mama Doll Foreman's tea. Would you gofer that?" or "Spanky, the Nice List Recorder needs her itch medicine. Would you gofer that?" Spanky gofer this, Spanky gofer that. Oh, how Spanky wishes he was 2 ft. tall.

THE COMPUTER GEEK ELF

The

Computer

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Elf


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This elf showed up at the North Pole seemingly out of no where.

Although he is not much for looks, he was a smooth talker. Santa was going through a bit of a down turn in the toy and other gift production and the Computer Geek Elf told him (Santa) that he needed some hope and some change. Santa asked him what kind of change and the elf said the he needed to fundamentally change the way he did things around there.

Well, Santa was caught at a weak moment and he agreed to change everything over to a nifty computer program . . . his naughty and nice lists, his toy inventory, reindeer health concerns, sleigh maintenance and everything.

It wasn't long before Santa realized things were getting worse as the elf continued to replace and change much of the ways Santa had done things for many years.

Then just under two months before Christmas one year, Santa decided to put a stop to the elf's radical changes. He succeeded in stopping the elf in his tracks, but the Computer Greek Elf had made just enough changes that in order for Santa to get anything ready for Christmas at all, he would have to keep the elf and some of his changes around for many years.

The Computer Geek Elf was not very popular with the other elves and some even tried to circulate the story that he wasn't really even an elf. But with those big ears, few ever took that story very seriously.

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THE BUTTERNUT PRESERVATION ELF

The Butternut Preservation Elf

The Butternut Preservation Elf works in very close association with the Naughty and Nice list Administrator and the Nice List Recorder to ensure that only the nicest of the nice

woodcarvers and woodworkers get gifts of butternut this year.
This is due to the impending shortage of this wood due to the butternut canker disease that has ravaged trees through out the country.
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Notice that this elf has such large elf ears that he had to cut slits in his hat to wear it comfortably. This he did in resignation after trying to cover them up with hair.

THE IRISH HERITAGE GIFT CONSULTANT ELF

The Irish Heritage Gift consultant Elf







The background of this elf is accurately summed up in this

traditional Irish poem.

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The Orange and The Green


Oh, it is the biggest mix up that you have ever seen.
My father, he was Orange and me mother, she was green.

My father was an Ulster man, proud Protestant was he.
My Mother was a Catholic girl, from county Cork was she.
They were married in two churches, lived happily enough,
Until the day that I was born and things got rather tough.

Baptized by Father Riley, I was rushed away by car,
To be made a little Orangeman, my father's shining star.
I was christened "David Anthony," but still, inspite of that,
To me father, I was William, while my mother called me Pat.

With Mother every Sunday, to Mass I'd proudly stroll.
Then after that, the Orange lodge would try to save my soul.
For both sides tried to claim me, but I was smart because
I'd play the flute or play the harp, depending where I was.

Now when I'd sing those rebel songs, much to me mother's joy
Me father would jump up and say, "Look here would you me boy.
That's quite enough of that lot". he'd then toss me a coin
And he'd have me sing the Orange Flute or the Heros of the Boyne.

One day me Ma's relations came round to visit me.
Just as my father's kinfolk were all sitting down to tea.
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight.
And me, being strictly neutral. I bashed everyone in sight.

My parents never could agree about my type of school.
My learning was all done at home, that's why I'm such a fool.
They've both passed on, God rest 'em, but left me caught between
That awful color problem of the Orange and the Green.

After the big fight, the Irish Gift Elf left home and ultimately showed up on Santa's door step at the North Pole. While on the long walk to the North Pole his ears became severely frost bitten. When they were healed, they took on a pointed appearance and he was magically transformed into an elf.